A letter from Stewart Home to Steve Finbow regarding the subject of happiness.

by Tony Oats.

Dear Mister Finbow,

I was really fucking sad, but then you Sent Ca$h.  And now I’m pretty fucking happy.

I went to a restaurant and ate a steak, cooked rare, and drank wine, and then I got blasted on tequila shots at a dive bar with my friends.  I could do that because you Sent Ca$h.  Thanks!

And there was this girl that I liked, but she didn’t like me, until I had Ca$h.  The Ca$h that you Sent me!  And now she likes me.  And we ate steak and drank wine and then got bombed on shots of tequila and now she is happy too.  All because you Sent Ca$h.

And you know what, we bought shots for everyone at the bar, and they all got drunk and sang those popular Mexican tunes from the 90s, and they were soooo happy.  All because you Sent Ca$h!

And yeah there were these two people at the bar and you could tell that they liked each other but were shy in their own ways, but after those shots of tequila and after singing those popular Mexican songs from the 90s they went home together.  And they looked pretty fucking happy.  All because you Sent Ca$h.

And hey they weren’t the only ones.  We tipped the fuck out of the waiters at the steakhouse – the boys from Guadalajara – and they went home pretty fucking happy.  And we tipped the shit out of the bartenders in that dive bar where we bought the tequila and sang those songs.  And those bartenders went home pretty fucking happy too.

But mostly what I want to say is that I read your essay on happiness, and it was ok, but it was a little wordy for my taste, and honestly, I’m not sure you know what happiness is.

And that is ok, because neither do I but I am learning, and I am figuring it out and I will send you a full report so that you may know too. 

So what I am *really* saying is that If you are interested in learning more about happiness, Send more Ca$h!


Stewart Home

Featured image: LaBanna Babalon, IG @labannababalon

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